I stopped writing when Mom died. There were lots of reasons, so many things that needed to be done. We were all working so hard to settle Mom’s estate quickly, get the car sold, get the house cleaned out and sold, get everything wrapped up. We didn’t know what we might need to take care of my brother. We just knew that we would probably need funds, so we were trying to do everything as quickly as we could.

And then my job changed completely around that same time. I went from working for a company with a couple of dozen people, to working for a company of several hundred people, to working for a company of a few thousand people all within about 4 months, all thanks to the business magic known as Mergers & Acquisitions. It was overwhelming. For the first few months, I would get mini panic attacks every time Zoom or Teams pinged at me.

There was just so much happening, and writing is a matter of time and attention. It felt like I didn’t have enough of either of those.

So, I didn’t write for a while. And then I didn’t write for a while longer, and a while longer. Until, eventually, writing was something that I used to do, something that I might do again someday, but not something that I did. Even though I wanted to.

When I would think about writing again, there was always some reason not to. I even admitted to myself at one point that there would ALWAYS be some reason not to. But I still didn’t write.

I didn’t have anything to write about, I thought. Only, that wasn’t entirely true. I had things to write about, what I didn’t have was anything that seemed momentous enough for the occasion. The enormity of changes in the world. The enormity of changes in my own life.

What use was there in writing and sharing my little thoughts?

I don’t have advice. I don’t have answers. I occasionally have a story appropriate to the situation, and I frequently have a story which doesn’t apply to the situation but is sorta funny so I’ll tell it anyway. That’s it, that’s all.

But I’ve decided that there is one thing I can do.

I can try to point to the light.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I can try to point to the light, not as a way to ignore the bad, not as a way to always be “positive!” Just as a way to remind myself that the light is always there, even in the darkest times, and I want to actively seek it.

So, I’m back to sharing thoughts. Thank you so much if you’ve read this far. I’d love to hear your thoughts as well.

And I’m certainly going to share some stories, because stories are where light and love and God all come together.

It feels good to be writing again.